Are you forcing a relationship and thinking of how to stop?

You probably don’t know if you are forcing a relationship because you feel you are behaving the normal way everyone in love behaves. You probably think your partner feels the same way about you and you can’t really see the sign that you are forcing yourself on them.

Or maybe the relationship is over but you are not ready to let go. You are not ready to accept the fact that it is over, so you continue to believe that it could still work out as long as you keep trying. And it seems like you are doing too much just because you don’t want to let go.

However, you are beginning to see that forcing a relationship doesn’t only make you look desperate but also makes you very unhappy with yourself. Forcing someone to love you when you know they don’t,  says a lot about what you think of yourself.

It means you think so little of yourself that you have to force others to love you even when they don’t. If you believe you deserve better then you wouldn’t have to beg someone to love or care about you.

So, if you are wondering if you are forcing a relationship, then you need to pay attention to this.

How Do You Know You Are Forcing  A Relationship

forcing a relationship

If you notice these signs then it is quite obvious you are forcing the relationship and you need to do something about it:

-You are crazy about them but they don’t feel the same way

You know you are forcing a relationship when it seems like you are doing too much. It is obvious you are crazy about your partner but they don’t feel the same way.  And you are willing to do anything for them but they are not ready to do the same. You are always making compromises for the relationship but your partner would never do so.

It seems like you love them too much and you talk about them all the time but you don’t see that same enthusiasm from them. You want the whole world to know you are willing to do anything for them. But your partner can’t even admit to anyone that they are dating you. And you make them feel special but they make you feel like you are doing too much.

-You see a future with them even though they don’t

There’s this beautiful picture of you both spending your life together in your head. They are so special to you that you don’t want to lose them. But when you talk about spending a lifetime with them, they often ignore you or talk about something else. Every time you bring up issues about spending your life together, they don’t seem interested.

Deep down you know they don’t want a future with you but you are scared of accepting the truth. They are not serious about your relationship and you know sooner or later it will all come crashing down. But you keep holding on to the fact that one day they will fall in love with you and never want to let go.

-You are the only one putting in the efforts to keep the relationship going

It seems like you are forcing a relationship when you are the only one keeping the relationship going. You are always the one calling, texting, and doing whatever you can to keep the relationship strong. But your energy is not matched. You are doing everything while your partner is doing nothing.

You miss them, you want them around you, you think about them always but they barely have your time. They are totally fine when you are not around, they don’t ever miss you or decide to check up on you unless you do.

You are willing to do whatever it takes for your relationship while your partner is not ready to do the same. You feel like you are alone in the relationship. And you constantly trying to force them to make an effort for the relationship. You have to plead with them to call, visit you or even be interested in what is happening in your life. HOW TO FIX A RELATIONSHIP AFTER A FIGHT (7 ESSENTIAL TIPS)

-You keep making excuses for him

He’s not doing enough and you know it but each time, you come with excuses to defend his actions. When your friends talk about him not calling, or caring enough about you, you always have the perfect excuse for him. You don’t make excuses for someone who genuinely cares about you and really wants the relationship to work.

If he treats you poorly, has little or no time for you but you still believe he will change one day then you are forcing the relationship.

No matter what he does to you, it seems you are blind to his faults and you always have the perfect excuse for him.

Someone who really wants a relationship with you shows that he does and you don’t have to always defend him because he’s doing what he’s supposed to do. But If he’s never there for you, and you have to always make excuses for him, then you are forcing the relationship.

-You are only physically attracted to him

You are holding onto the relationship because you are physically attracted to him and not because you want to be in the relationship with him. And you are not willing to let go because of this physical attraction and you are forcing him to stay in the relationship just for that reason. You know deep down you don’t want a relationship with him but you just keep forcing it because you know losing the relationship means losing him.

How To Stop It

how to stop forcing a relationship

So, you have finally realized that you have been forcing a relationship and you are now looking for ways to stop it. Well, you have come to the right place. To stop yourself from forcing a relationship, you have to:

-Stop trying to force them to love or care about you

You need to stop trying, just stop doing too much and let them put in some effort. No matter how hard it may be, you have to stop yourself from being the one who’s constantly reaching out to them. You have to push them out of your thoughts and focus on yourself. You deserve someone who would love you because they really do, not because you are pushing them to do so. Discipline yourself to stop trying completely and see what happens.

-Let them put in some effort

Stop trying and let them put in some effort. You also deserve to be treated special, you deserve someone who really wants you and really wants to be part of your life. And you have to stop being the only one doing all the work in the relationship and let your partner put in some effort for a change. If they are not willing to then you know they don’t want the relationship as much as you do. And you have to leave that relationship and find a new one where you will be appreciated.

-Think about what you are doing

If you still can’t get yourself to stop forcing the relationship, then you need to take some time to think about what you are doing. Are you happy about what you are doing? Will it keep the relationship going forever? Are you okay with being the only one doing what it takes to make your relationship work? Do you think you deserve better? You need to take your time and ask yourself these important questions. The answers to these questions should help you retrace your steps and make the right decision for yourself. This is how to stop forcing a relationship.

-Love Yourself

If you do love yourself you wouldn’t be in a relationship where you are unhappy and unappreciated. When you love yourself, you know you deserve happiness and you are not ready to joke with your happiness. If you do love yourself, you don’t need to force someone to love or care about you, because you know you deserve it. You value yourself so much and you are not ready to give anyone the opportunity to undervalue you. One way to stop forcing a relationship is to remind yourself that you deserve so much better.

-You deserve so much better

You deserve so much better, don’t settle for less. Don’t settle for a relationship where you have to force the other person to reciprocate your love. Remind yourself of this whenever you feel like pushing them to love or care about you. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of being chased, so let them chase you for a change. Let them make you feel wanted and let them show you how much you mean to them. Reminding yourself that you deserve so much better is also how to stop forcing a relationship.


You don’t have to beg someone to love or care about you. You shouldn’t have to force someone to be in a relationship with you because you deserve someone who really wants you. So, once you start noticing the signs that you are forcing a relationship, you need to stop yourself. If you don’t, you are only preparing yourself for heartbreak and disappointment.

About Grace Amadi

Grace Amadi is a young African writer that loves encouraging people to stay positive. A young African woman who encourages other women to enjoy womanhood and to be proud of it.

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  1. This is it!!!!!! Please do a discuss on how a partner can become more involved in a relationship. For example a guy can like you and you are not into them, what can such person do and if you already have a write up concerning it please show me the link. Thanks

  2. Hey! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 4!
    Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts!

    Carry on the superb work!

  3. I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem.
    You’re amazing! Thanks!

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